Does God really intend for complete contentment in His company?

I listened to one of my favorite extroverts, in a pleading tone, share about how hard it has been for her on the mission field. She still struggles with the language and she said with such angst, "I am just such a relational person. I know that I am supposed to be content with just having the Lord to commune with but I feel a real void."

The very next day I read a chapter in Klaus Issler and J.P. Moreland's book, The Lost Art of Happiness.  The chapter is entitled, "Cultivating Spiritual Friendships."  Issler wrote the book, Wasting Time With God: Cultivating Friendship with God.  In that book Issler made the point that our friendships with humans help us cultivate a friendship with God.

Issler referred to himself as "recovering loner."  (I wonder if that phrase might bother some people. Is it a bad thing to be a loner??)

Let me quote Issler here (p. 180)

I came to the point that I realized a haunting truth: If I can't depend on a few trusted others whom I can see, what makes me so sure that I can really rely on God , whom I cannot see? Might an adaptation of I John 4: 20 fit here?  "If we say we depend on God yet can't depend on a fellow believer, we are liars." Lately, I've seen that life is a school for learning how to have faith in others and not depend on ourselves alone. God actually made us to function and flourish by mutual dependence on spiritual friends. From early on, our experiences can help us learn how to depend on others, to grow our "trust" muscles--ultimately, so we can deepen our trust and reliance on God.

Later in that chapter Issler wrote how the model of our relationships is the Triune God Himself.  I had one of those "ah ha" moments reading this chapter.  We so often hear people of all different belief systems quote the Bible although they might not acknowledge their source:  "God is love" (I John 4: 8).  This little phrase is not in context or in reality a statement making God out to be a feeling.  This is a statement about God's Triune nature.  Love cannot be expressed in a lone way.  I had wondered about the idea:  Did God have to create humans in His image to complete Himself? Did He need humans to express love?  

Understanding God in Trinity I realized, He did not need us to be Lerfect love.  God truly is love because "the love relationships within the Trinity set the tone and benchmark for all our relationships" (182, Issler). 

Trust is not an easy concept to understand and exercise.  Hebrews 11: 1 says, "Without faith, it is impossible to please God."  In a recent course on The Gospel, the teacher (Bill Tell) said, "What if we woke up in the morning and instead of saying, 'What can I do to please God today....but rather, how can I trust You today?'"  I think we have been trained to think of things to do to please God when what He wants is our trust.

As Klaus Issler wrote, we can learn to trust God whom we cannot see by trusting people who we can see. There is a huge risk, though, with people.  People can disappoint and betray.  I believe there are people out there whom we can trust and in those relationships we can learn more how we can trust God.

Learning to pray

The other morning I read a post from the devotional, 40 Days with Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  He wrote about the importance of solitude as well as community. He presented a balanced approach.

Whoever cannot be alone should beware of community. Whoever cannot stand being in community should beware of being alone.

Although this surprises some people, I like to be alone.  I spend a great deal of time alone. However, I have grown more and learned more when I am with others.

How does this relate to prayer?

 People often ask me how and why I can be positive about my prayer life especially since I am such an extrovert and avoid solitude.  When I ask other people about their prayer lives,  they often give a negative response, almost filled with shame.  This grieves me.

The main reason I am positive about my prayer life is very simple:  I pray OFTEN with people. I know that we have the examples of Moses alone in the wilderness for 40 year and coming upon the Lord in a burning bush; David out there with his sheep on the hillside; the Apostle Paul spending years in Arabia and Jesus going alone to pray all night as recorded in Luke 9. These examples bear note.  I can learn from these examples and challenge myself.

However, over the long haul, praying with people has changed my life and my prayer life.

Praying with other people seems to strengthen private prayer.  I say this from my own experience as well as what others have told me.

For more on this subject,  check out study 4 of this Lifeway Study, Praying like Jesus
http://www.lifeway.com/lwc/files/lwcf_pdf_ezell_prayinglikejesus.pdf

The author points out in Luke 9 how we see Jesus going alone to pray and then a few days later He prayed with others.  In verse 18, Jesus went alone to pray.  About a week later (Luke 9:28), he took Peter, James and John to the mountain to pray. Praying with Jesus....that would be wonderful training, beyond imagination.

So if you are serious about praying, pray with others.  I have been blessed with a prayer partner who lived across the street in Singapore.  (We still occasionally pray over the time zones via Google Hangout.)  I met for prayer with two women who lived near me for 10 years.  I started in 2001 praying on the phone every Saturday morning with a relative. This was before Skype and Google Hangout.  We advanced beyond phone technology when she moved overseas.  And I am exceptionally blessed with a husband who so readily prays with me.....every morning at 6:30 am unless one of us is traveling, and when we drive any distance at all, we often drive and pray.

You can see that the reason I can be positive about how I've developed a life of prayer is partly because of others.  I thank God for these people who have taught me to pray.  Remember, the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray.  He was right there in the flesh with them and He taught them to pray. And people are right with us in the flesh and they can teach us to pray.

Dispassionate

Dispassionate is not a word we hear or use often. You can probably figure out the meaning of the word by looking at the root: passion.  Dispassionate means unemotional, emotionless or disinterested.

Michael Glerup, Ph.D wrote an article in Conversations magazine about the fear of God.  He looked at how early Christians understood that concept.  He wrote, "For early Christians dispassion refers to a sense of inner calm and peace. In antiquity, this disposition of self-control and inner calm could be undermined or disturbed by passions."

An odd coincidence that I read this article after I'd been reflecting on how I come across to people.  Twice in the last few days I've thought after meeting someone, "You sure are an excitable person, Lisa."  Excitable or some might call hyper, animated, enthusiastic.  These latter qualities do come in handy with my grand children.  However, I am not so sure adults appreciate this about me.

Then I read about dispassion and inner peace.

Can a person who is excitable and animated have inner peace at the same time?

Dr. Glerup continued in the article, "In the ancient world, these four passions--fear, desire, distress, delight--were viewed negatively because they diminished human freedom and were disruptive to spiritual composure."

Spiritual composure?  What's that?

I have spiritual composure if you think of it as peace of soul.  I don't doubt that God so loved the world that He gave His Only Begotten Son that whoever so believes in Him has eternal life.  I have a sense of inner calm as I relate to Christ on a daily and moment by moment basis.

In doing my Google research on this topic, I found a great article. The author, a behavioral health consultant and writer, Steven Kalas, describes a person who sounds like ME?!?

http://www.reviewjournal.com/steven-kalas/intense-personality-may-simply-need-calm-down

This article made such a connection with me that I had to copy some of it into this post:

The criticism comes in varied rhetoric, but it all comes down to the same thing: You're too intense, you suck the life out of the room, you're too demanding, you're a narcissist, you think you're better than me, I feel "put down" when I'm with you, you're condescending, you expect too much, you overwhelm me.

I ask if there are other recurring messages he has received over his lifetime. Yes, he does remember other messages: You lift my spirits, you brighten up the room when you walk in, you're optimistic, you're empathic, you have an infectious enthusiasm, you make me think, you are fluid and fun, you have a great sense of humor, you say what you mean, you have a knack for putting things into words, it's flattering to hear you share your critical reflections about what I'm doing or thinking.

I emphasize to the man that these two disparate messages are talking about the same guy. One gives his motive the benefit of the doubt. One impugns his motive, a priori.

The man is tortured by three choices. Either he surrenders to the idea that something is really terribly wrong with him, or he fakes his way through life to maintain some semblance of family and friends, or he stands on some metaphorical mountain and shouts to his tormentors "Go to hell," and decides to be alone. As I listen to him, I think he has lived most of his life doing all three things simultaneously.

I make an admiring mental note about him, that he has managed to walk these 48 years on the planet with reasonable success. I think he doesn't know how resourceful he is. How much healthy ego strength he has.

His lament is one I've heard before. There are people in the world whose type/temperament is naturally enthusiastic (from the Greek enthusia, meaning "filled with God"), who carry charisma, acute sensitivity and high energy into the world. If, on top of all this they also are intelligent ... well, they find themselves unintentionally provocative to some folks. And they are, over and over again, surprised by this, and hurt by the attacks that come.

Well, it is nice to read, "filled with God."

On a lighter note, I do have:

as we now have a Trader's Joes in Centennial, CO.

Resting in the Lord during a difficult time

Psalm 94:  19
When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,Your consolations delight my soul.

Working around the house last week, I turned on the Christian music station.  I heard this phrase from a song, "No matter what, I'm going to love You."  I stopped to glance at the television so I could see the name of the song.

Writing the last post about wasting time with God and Klaus Issler's book, how easy it was to write about resting with the Lord.  Life had been moving along in a placid way. No rough waters. Well, okay, not placid. That word would probably never describe my life.

Then something happened. A very tragic thing.

Wow, has it ever been tough to rest in the Lord.  Hard to pray. Hard to focus.

A few things I've learned at this time:
1. A couple was with us when we received the news.  They did not speak much; They prayed with us but it was their presence, sitting at our kitchen table for hours that meant the most.  They did not say, "If there is anything we can do, let us know."  I suspect they were asking God to help them notice what to do as that is just what they did. They took care of things that needed to get done. They stopped to listen when I needed to process.

2. I am eternally grateful for some people who let me process both talking to them and praying with them.  I am grateful they did not judge me for that need to process verbally.

3. Christian praise music lifts my spirits even as the Words of the Bible seem rather distant and silent at this time.

4. It is hard to rest at times like this.  In fact, I am not sure how a person does that. I certainly have not figured it. One night listening to the decade of the 90s in the Psalms, Psalm 94: 19 impressed me but I still did not feel much consolation.

Here's hoping for a smoother transition to a restful state with the Lord today and in the future....

If you give a mouse a cookie .... rest in the Lord (wasting more time with God)

My children (now adults) and I enjoyed this book. I identify with this mouse although his behavior might be considered a personality or a psychological disorder.  I start working on something, suddenly an idea comes into my mind.  I take that "rabbit trail" and start working on that idea. (This also happens doing housework...doing the dishes, I notice that the window is dirty. I stop washing the dishes and wash the window.)

I find myself in this mouse- mode while studying, working on a project, writing an email.  I defend my behavior by saying, "Well, this is just how I am. I cannot help it."

Last week I wrote about Klaus Issler's book Wasting time with God. In my typical operating mode, I am reading another book by Klaus Issler and J. P. Moreland at the same time, The Lost Virtue of Happiness.  (Disclaimer:  I am reading this book out loud with my husband so maybe I won't add this book to the pile of other books I'm reading.  Don't look at my "currently reading" list on GoodReads.)



Chapter 3 is about disciplining our minds and thoughts.  The authors wrote about an intriguing study with people with obsessive compulsive disorder, particularly washing hands constantly. The main point was that these people have "mental ruts" in one area of their brain.  (I have read other articles and books that talk about our mental ruts.)  With some help in focused meditation, the ruts actually disappeared and the people with OCD had less compulsion to wash their hands all the time, (pages 85-86 in the book).

This got me thinking about my give-a-mouse-a-cookie problem. I may not have OCD but I am easily distracted and lose focus.  Is there anything I can do to lesson those ruts I have and find more mental rest and focus?

Last summer I met with a spiritual director and she encouraged me to take time every day and sit with God She said, "Don't start planning as you do.  No pondering your to-do list. No reflection either. Don't start praying for all the people that you intercede for.  Don't ask God for any image or some special message. This is not about getting anything from God."

 She cautioned me, "Don't just empty your mind as that is a practice more of Eastern religious practices."  So I said, "Shall I memorize a Bible verse? "  My busy little mind said to myself, "Oh, boy, I can accomplish something and memorize more verses."

She said, "No.  You  might try this: Imagine just sitting alone with Jesus.  Don't try to picture what He looks like. Just rest with Him.  As thoughts come into your mind, you can send them away."

Just rest with Him. Waste a little time with Christ.  Um

Psalm 131
O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
2 Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me.
3 O Israel, hope in the Lord
From this time forth and forever.

So this is what I've been doing. For short periods of time, ten minutes, to be quite honest, I imagine myself sitting next the the Lord. (I have no real image of Him, just a sense of His Presence.). We are actually next to this stream:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwoJu182uY4

As thoughts come into my mind, I toss the thoughts into the stream and they float away. Somehow this helps me settle down, rest in the Lord, waste a little time with Christ.

Ephesians 2:7 (The Message)
Now God has us where He wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. 


 Post script: I was working on something else when I got the idea for this post.  If you give a mouse a cookie, chances are...

Wasting time with God (Part 1 of probably many entries on this book)

That is the title of a favorite book of mine.  Catchy, isn't it?  Who would think of wasting time at all in our culture?  And isn't wasting time like channel surfing, watching a useless movie, or hours on social media?

The book I am referring to is subtitled: A Christian Spirituality of Friendship with God by Klaus Issler.


I think most emotionally functional people regardless of their personality type desire relationships with others. Some prefer deep relationships with a few people.  Others prefer deep relationships with many people. Note that I added the word "deep" in both sentences.  As I've written before, extroverts have the capacity and desire for deep relationships with many people. And they can actually DO THAT. They have a large capacity for people and gain energy from being with people.

At the beginning of this book mentioned above, the author quotes what I refer to a "life Bible verse," John 17: 3:  Now this is eternal life that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.  That verse  might have been the clincher for me in embracing Christ and Christianity--the idea of having a relationship with God.  Issler also mentions Revelation 21: 3 (NRSV): "The home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them;....they will be His peoples and God Himself will be with them." 

Being a friend of God....seems outlandish in one sense yet strangely real in another.  Blaise Pascal, a famous French mathematician and philosopher, put it like this: "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ."

The "outlandish" comes to mind: God is, GOD, you know, Creator of the universe. I am just one of billions of souls.  Yet, we have a connection.  

As I have studied the gospel of John this year and continue (only on John 15 at this writing), I find myself so interested this guy John.  You may have heard a speaker refer to the apostles' personalities types. Who is the apostle extrovert, like me?  It's always Peter.  Yet I find a real connection with John.  Both of the verses I just quoted were from John's writings. Many scholars have written about the theology of the gospel of John. Clearly John presents Jesus as God through the themes of the responses of the religious leaders, the miraculous signs, and the "I am" statements.  

However, John also uses terms and themes that emphasize the relational aspect of God in His triune nature and then with us.  I often remind myself that much of what John wrote must have been shocking to the disciples:  God as Father, indwelling of the Spirit, peace of heart, Jesus' promise of His ongoing presence in their lives. 

Issler wrote that at the beginning of any relationship there is a hiddenness.  "Time and common experiences with provide the opportunity, but each party must decide whether or not it is worth the effort to bring down the barriers of self-hiddenness" (p.16)  Common experiences.  Yes, common experiences really cement a relationship.  However, we can have a common experience with God or another person and the hiddenness remains, and the relationship does not grow.

I watched the Denver Broncos football came on Sunday and just marveled at the shots from the air, "All those people in the stadium."  (All wearing orange and having spent a bundle to sit there in the cold.)  If I was there, I would be sharing an experience with the people around me but I would not have a relationship with them.  We can do things with people and yet have no relationship.  Think of conversations that you may have had or overheard on an airplane.

To have a relationship with someone, verbal and non-verbal communication has to happen. If I am just with a person and not speaking, this can be bonding as well if a close relationship already exists.   Issler implies from the title of the book that wasting time with God (such a catchy title!) will develop our friendship with God. I will read on to see exactly what he means. The truth is, though, that in order to have a relationship with God or anyone, you have to be intentional as well. When you are in an experience, you have to experience that event with the person or in this context WITH GOD.

For example, let's say you are in a difficult situation at work.  The chaos and complications build daily. How can I experience this time with God?  Or is it just like in the football stadium, God is there with the masses of people but not a part of what is really going on in my mind and heart?

In the spiritual formation community, we talk and write a lot about spiritual disciplines like prayer, fasting, reading the Bible.  I am very positive about spiritual practices.  I would like to emphasize in this posting the spiritual practice (or discipline as it might take just that, discipline) of going through daily experiences, whether exciting, mundane, frustrating, confusing, painful, fun, or frightening with God. I think it takes mental discipline to remember He is there.  How to do that?  Say something to Him, whether in your heart and mind or out loud.  If you are like me, it does help to speak out acknowledgement of His presence.  Often it is easier when there is a struggle or fear.  How much would God, who apparently really wants that kind of relationship with us, delight in that?  

I am touched and delighted when people seek out my presence.  As we are made in His image, I suspect God has those same feelings as well.

The power of words

I am kind of tied up these days and not able to write, but read this short blog on the power of words. Since I like words and extroverts like me use a lot of words, this is a good reminder and encouragement.

From Faith Gateway: Devotionals Daily
http://contentz.mkt4728.com/mson/2013/12/28/xASZyoogBU8d/index.html

The Power of Words by Craig Groeschel from Soul Detox You don’t have to have a big nose to have heard the childhood mantra, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Just because it’s spouted by first graders doesn’t mean it’s true. Perhaps the adult translation of this age-old adage is more like, “Sticks and stones can bruise your body for a few days, but words can scar your soul for life.” Like a neutron bomb which annihilates human life but leaves buildings intact,words can devastate. Your body may remain unharmed, but your heart suffers the deadly shrapnel of painful phrases. David, who knew a thing or two about having enemies in high places, wrote that evildoers “sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows” (Psalm 64:3). Whether you’re eighteen or eighty, you can probably recall the pain of someone’s harsh words scalding your soul. Maybe you still hear the message from years ago, playing an endless loop in your mind, echoing inside you every day. “You’ll never amount to anything.” “I wish I never had you.” “You’re nothing like your brother.” “I’m sick of you.” “I never loved you.” “You’ll never change.” As devastating as these words can be, they can be offset by words of truth, hope, and love. The right words at the right time can be helpful, healing, and life-transforming. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” What you say can give life to you and to other people, or it can take life away. Words are powerful beyond imagination. Think about it. When God created the world, how did he do it? He spoke. God said, “Let there be...” and there was. Words have power. In so many fairy tales, legends, and myths, it’s the power of a spoken spell, incantation, or magic phrase that can either cause destruction or restore harmony. The potency of godly words can revive, heal, and change our lives. Ungodly words have the power to bind, imprison, and destroy. -  Creative words create. Destructive words destroy. -  Hurtful words crush. Helpful words build up. -  Toxic words poison. Soothing words heal. -  Faith-filled words bring life. Faithless words bring death. Several passages in the Bible clearly contrast the difference. The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. — Proverbs 12:18 What are reckless words? They’re the shards of glass you hurl in the heat of an argument. They’re the words you know you’ll regret as soon as they’ve left your tongue. They’re the bitter, painful, cancerous messages that leave people sick and hurting. Talking out of the other side of your mouth, the tongue of the wise brings encouragement, joy, and wisdom. Proverbs 15:4 expresses this duality another way: “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” Positive words plant seeds for beautiful trees. Deceptive words poison others like weed killer. If you are like most people, you can recall several of the many toxic phrases that have been directed at you. They could have been innocent: “Did you mean to do that to your hair?” “Why aren’t you married yet?” “I thought you would do much better than that.” Or perhaps the words were intended to pierce your heart like a poison dagger: “Why can’t you do anything right?” “I wish I’d never married you.” “You’re a real piece of work.” “You are the biggest disappointment to me.” My hope is that you can also remember life-giving words spoken to you at the precise moment you needed them. Maybe someone told you,“I believe in you,” and it was all you needed to move forward. It could’ve been someone saying, “I’m so proud of you,” and their affirmation touched your soul. Maybe a close friend shared, “I’m more thankful for you than you could ever know,” and in return, those words meant more to you than your friend would ever know. The words spoken by a loving spouse can often communicate, “I’d marry you all over again,” reminding you of their support. Another proverb compares such words to honey and to medicine: “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24). I’m thankful for the people in my life who fed me sweet words of affirmation and encouragement. My wife Amy’s words have often kept me going. When I’m down and feeling inadequate for the ministry before me, she reminds me who I am and what I have in Christ. When others criticize our style of ministry, she reminds me that God called us to do a different work. And sometimes, she simply calls me her Mega-man! I may be an average guy, but I like knowing that I’m her superhero. We obviously can’t control what others say about us, but we can control what we believe. Since toxic words can destroy our souls, we’ve got to passionately guard our hearts against them. Do whatever it takes to keep the poison out of your heart. Solomon told his son, “Listen closely to my words... Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:20, Proverbs 4:23, emphasis mine). With his life-giving words, a protective father warned his son to guard his heart as his life source. We must keep others from dumping their toxic waste into our water supply. Countless times a day, when it comes to what you hear and say, you have choices to make. When you hear the words of others, you can choose to receive them as truth or reject them as lies. And every time you open your mouth to utter a word, you have the opportunity to speak life or the temptation to take it. Think back through the past few days. When you spoke to others, what did they hear? Either you aimed sharp, poison-tipped darts at their hearts, or you injected them with life-giving, God-honoring booster shots. * * *