A link that is a good reminder and guide

http://stephencollins.info/a-guide-to-understanding-introverts/

Super connectors or Superconductors?

** I meant to send this last week when I was in Silicon Valley, surrounded by technology, start ups and the energy there.

I know little about science especially physics.  I liked chemistry and did well in it but I cannot remember how or why I did well in chemistry but not physics.

I've been thinking a lot about connecting with people.  I sometimes feel like I need to apologize for working hard at staying connected with people.  Honestly, I've been shamed for this.

In my usual musings as I wander around my house, the word superconductor came to mind.

Superconductors are elements, inter-metallic alloys, or compounds that conduct electricity without resistance below a certain temperature. Resistance produces losses in the energy flowing through the material. However, once set in motion, electrical current will flow in a closed loop of superconducting material, making it the closest thing to perpetual motion.http://www.directhit.com/shopping-answers/what_are_super_conductors?oo=15145


This is what I found when I googled-imaged superconductor.

I liked these phrases "elements that conduct electricity without resistance.....Resistance produces losses in energy..."  Maybe I am a superconductor element because extroverts tend to conduct some "electricity" and energy at times as well as producing unwanted sparks and shocks.

I  like the hovering image above as well; reminds me of hummingbirds.

The other phrase super connector actually applies to people.

Here are some quotes from an article about super connectors:
Social capital — and the ability to form real relationships
Enter the super connector — someone whose main talent isn’t coding or building things, but introducing people. 
“Meaningful relationships come from meaningful connections,

Ultimately, it’s this selfless approach that makes the super connector such a valued resource. Although they do see a return on their investment of time and energy, it’s often not immediate. Instead, they’re driven by a genuine desire to help out the talented people in their circle.

“It’s not about trying to get some big win every time,” .... “Relationships take time.”

Here is a link to the entire article: http://tech.co/how-super-connectors-are-changing-the-tech-world-2013-06

I am a "super connector" as mentioned in this article in terms of networking people, but I think I am more of the "connector-conductor."  I like to connect with people just to be connected, simply to show them I am thinking or praying for them, and that I value them. I pay attention to people's lives NOT because I "just want to be in the know."  I care for people.

I admit that an extrovert can become very self-focused and have little self-awareness and selfish.  This is where my belief system, my relationship with Christ, comes in.

The apostle Paul wrote in the other 3:16 verse (you know what I mean, the one we all know from the football games or childhood is John 3:16). But this other one is a good one too.
I Corinthians 3: 16: "Do you not know that you are a temple of God and God's Spirit dwells in you?"

God's Spirit works in me to remind me of my need for God, and gives me an awareness of His presence in my life. God's Spirit reminds me to focus on others.  I want to behave well. I would really like the fruit of the spirit to be evident in my life.
Galatians 5: 22- "For the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness."

The fruit of the Spirit shows up when we are connected with people. All of us need the reminder no matter whether we are superconductor or not, to think of others, connect with others, serve and love others.

So my hope is to be a superconductor and encourage others and a super connector, letting people know that that not only is God real and loves them through Christ, but also that they mean so much to me.  And I really MEAN THAT (to you all reading this!)

Taking a Sabbath day- well, it is one of the Ten Commandments

What comes to mind when you think of Sabbath?  Is it the picture above, a quaint town, a little family walking to church on a Sunday?


or do you think of something more ethereal?  A quiet pond, a serene, beautiful garden, a mountain breeze, the only sound being the wind in the trees?

I confess that I struggle with taking a Sabbath day.  No problem going to church.  I highly value the local church and the community that emerges from a local church body.  (I could write about what I think of the idea that attending a local church is unnecessary but I get a little fired up about that discussion.)

I decided to "take a Sabbath" one Saturday not long ago. Okay, what did that mean?  I needed to know what a Sabbath day was in order to TAKE IT.

A book that greatly helped my understanding of Sabbath and rest is Marva Dawn's Keeping the Sabbath Wholly.
http://www.amazon.com/Keeping-Sabbath-Wholly-Embracing-Feasting/dp/0802804578/ref=la_B000AP7OJK_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370810776&sr=1-1

There are many good books on Sabbath, rest and other such disciplines or practices.  My two big "takeaways" from Dawn's book were:
1. Taking a Sabbath is like saying to God, "I am not indispensable. I can take a day off work, not send email, and do nothing one day and the universe will continue on it's course." When we say we cannot rest or take any time off, we are being rather arrogant that somehow whatever we do is more important than what others do. We are also not trusting God to manage without us.
2. This relates to the pictures below.  Although she wrote that she was an introvert, a very studious person and spent a lot of time alone, after her Sabbath, she often had people over for a celebration dinner on Sunday nights.  I liked that idea.  I felt like that was something I could appreciate. She did not slave over a big meal but it was just a time to enjoy friends and celebrate the Lord together.  I don't know who those women are in the picture but I thought that picture represented my thoughts.




Just to report on how I did on my Sabbath day.  I really did shut down work that day....until after dinner. Confession!  I had a lovely morning, drinking coffee, watching the squirrels in the yard, talking to my husband.  I took a long walk along the trail.  I had a Google Hangout with my son and his family as well as a great call with another son.  Even texted my daughter!  Then I read in the hammock, not a book I'd have to really think about or take notes in but an Alexander McCall Smith book.  If you've not read The Ladies Number 1 Detective Agency, you're missing some genuine fun entertainment!

Then after a simple dinner, I rushed to the computer to make notes of thoughts from the day and actually sent emails.  I redeemed myself by watching a Fred Astaire and Rita Heyworth movie with Tom later that night.

My grade for this Sabbath:  B.

Spiritual advantages to being an extrovert aka Apostle Peter

I might be wrong about this but it seems there are a lot more introverts writing on the internet about their lives and what life is like in such an "extroverted world."  Some seem to write a lot, especially on Facebook.   I read a book about how introverts feel marginalized and uncomfortable in evangelical US churches:
http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/6949088-introverts-in-the-church-finding-our-place-in-an-extroverted-culture
Just to make clear: If I have ever made an introvert feel uncomfortable at church (and I must have), I would like to apologize for that right now.

The author of the above mentioned book made some good points in his discussion although I admit I start feeling a little defensive with some things that are said or written about people like me in relation to our walk with the Lord and our place in the world. I have watched a Youtube regarding the introverted/extroverted issue and the very well- known author and speaker said some rather unkind things about extroverts.

One thing I do not want to do is WHINE. I could do that, you know. I could whine about how very sincere, contemplative-types have told me in all seriousness that I need to GET MY ACT TOGETHER and get out there in the woods or somewhere and BE SILENT.  I have been told that I cannot possibly hear from God because I am too talkative.

But, hey, who's whining?

We have all heard the sermons about the Apostle Peter.  He is the "sanguine"  person.  He impulsively spoke before he thought.  (Maybe speaking the words was part of the process of his thinking? Ever consider that?) Granted, the denial of the Lord incident was pretty bad. And I've felt similar remorse about things said.
So he was the sanguine personality:
http://www.sodahead.com/living/what-personality-type-are-you-choleric-melancholy-sanguine-or-phlegmatic/question-522727/;
or he was  "the HIGH I" on DISC scale, high influence or inducement. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DISC_assessment.

We know he impulsively spoke and did things. Yet he was the leader of the church.  He was the first to get up and make that amazing speech right after Pentecost.  Acts 2: 14 ff

But Peter, [o]taking his stand with (S)the eleven, raised his voice and declared to them: “Men of Judea and all you who live in Jerusalem, let this be known to you and give heed to my words. 15 For these men are not drunk, as you suppose, (T)for it is only the [p]third hour of the day; 16 but this is what was spoken of through the prophet Joel:

Think about it.....He had a lot of courage and chutzpah to stand up and make that speech.  I doubt if he spent hours studying, writing, agonizing over that sermon.  He just did it.  God inspired him; the Holy Spirit had certainly entered his life and gave him supernatural power.  But it was the extrovert Peter who got up, taking his stand with the eleven and raised his voice.

Was this a spiritually formative experience?  Can spiritual formation take place at a crowded Jewish feast day or a hot, loud, chaotic city?

You are likely wondering about the picture of the pugs.  First of all, let it be known that  I have a real affinity for pugs.  And strangely enough, they find me....in Germany, France, San Francisco, Los Angeles and along the Highline Canal Trail in Denver.

Meet Scooby and Honeybun (above).

What are they doing in this particular post?

A couple weeks ago, as I walked along the trail, listening to a book, I glanced ahead and noticed coming in my direction these two pugs and their owner.  As you know, we extroverts have never met a stranger and are just not afraid to greet people or pugs.

I said to the woman, "May I greet your pugs?"  She smiled and said, "Of course."  I introduced myself, asked her name and then the names of the pugs.  (Probably good to ask in that order.)  The pugs loved me. I think they know a fan when they come upon one.

I noticed that their owner had a stack of worn index cards in her hand and, lo and behold, they were Bible verses. I asked her about the verses and found out that I had stumbled upon a woman with a Doctor of Ministries who has a counseling and spiritual direction practice.  She is a Chaplain at the hospital and was on staff at a church. She is also mentoring a student at Denver Seminary who is studying spiritual formation.  We had a short but encouraging conversation.

Now if I was not an extrovert, I might have missed out on that divine moment and meeting. Who knows if I've not met an new friend as well as someone who might encourage me in my spiritual journey?

An extroverts responses to a fun buzzfeed: "Unmistakable signs that you are an introvert"

Although I connect with a few of these....http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/31-unmistakable-signs-that-youre-an-introvert

Here are an extrovert's comments:

 

1. This is your inner monologue during after-work drinks: I hate people.

I have an inner dialogue all the time.  I don't think I've ever said that....

2. You know that canceling plans is like winning the lottery, especially when someone else does it.

I have also thought canceling something was winning the lottery especially for evening events.

3. You’ve mastered the art of turning a day at home, doing nothing, into SOMETHING WONDERFUL.

There is nothing like a good snowstorm and being stuck at home alone. Yes, I say that in all honesty.  Now, to be stuck at home for a few days, that is a different story.

4. People often ask, “What are you thinking about?” because they haven’t heard you speak in a while.

Okay, so this is not OFTEN said to me. But it has been said to me!

5. Meeting new people? Please, you already have more than enough friends.

I have NEVER said this. Ever.  However, my husband said these exact words to me.

6. If anyone ever throws you a “fun” surprise party, this is your reaction: "I don't think I can forgive you for this."

No way.  "Surprises ARE FUN."  (I think that is a quote from the Bible.)

7. You don’t hate parties, it’s just that you don’t LOVE being around a ton of people.

Actually, I have often felt this way at a party.  I don't like crowds. I can get silent and withdrawn in a crowd  I would NEVER go to a loud music concert. 

8. And you’re ready to leave shortly after arriving.

I have thought this although I am often with someone who is more likely to say this.

9. You’ve never said this before: The more the merrier.

Okay, I say it about once a week.

10. Agreeing to a lot of nights out in a row isn’t fun. AT All.

I've heard this a lot and have I've said it myself. (Not often.)   I LIKE coming home from a busy trip.

11.When you’ve been around people for too long, there comes a moment when you realize you need to be alone OR ELSE.

Hey, introverts, this has happened to me too.  Rarely but it has happened.  And I've been the "OR ELSE" before....ha ha.

12.On the weekends, this is your daily battle: Are you going to get dressed today?

Just weekends only?   I can beat that.

13. You wear headphones for a reason, and it’s so that people will (hopefully) not talk to you.

Guilty.....on airplanes and even in the kitchen if it's a good book recorded book.

14. The idea of working from home, all by yourself, fills you with a kind of happiness that’s borderline giddy.

I am so thankful that I work at home.....flexibility, wear workout clothes all day, get things DONE.

15. Because being an introvert means you’re a really great listener.

I really, really, REALLY have worked at becoming a good listener. And I've had some positive feedback on that.  I have known introverts who can "let loose" with the words and absolutely not let another person get a word in edgewise. Extroverts KNOW they need to button up so if they are self-aware, they try.  I think introverts can be so unfamiliar with "being talkative territory" that they fall into it and cannot get out.  I've been with them and it's not pretty.  

 

Find out what makes you thrive

May 31

During a time of prayer with my friend Becky Sims, I had an interesting thought related to my garden under the pine tree.

Before we prayed, Becky had taken me around her house, showing me the new landscaping.  I noticed two pine trees on the south side of the house.  Becky said, “The landscaper suggested we put rocks under the tree as, you know, nothing grows under a pine tree.”

These words came back to me as we prayed.  True, well, almost true.

In ignorance both on my part and Tom’s, we had a vision of a lovely garden under the big pine tree in our back yard.  After bricking out the garden, we dumped a truckload of dirt and I planted.  To my surprise and discouragement, nothing grew.  Unbeknownst to me, few plants thrive under a pine tree due to the acidic soil.  The pine tree garden also was just out of reach of any of the sprinklers.  I had requested sprinkler heads in the garden and eventually this request was granted.

However those first years, I watched plant after plant die a miserable death.

In the process of losing the plants, in more of a trial and error method, some plants survived and returned.  I noticed that the “dusty” plants thrived, especially the yarrow and lamb’s ear. In fact the lamb’s ear eventually had to be thinned extensively.  Another year the candlestick plants returned and thrived. The garden needed some color.  I tried impatiens and they died not just because of the acidic soil or lack of water but the garden received the hot afternoon sun as well.  Then I hit the jackpot- petunias.  The petunias thrived and added such color! Along with my trial and error planting method, Tom installed two sprinkler heads in 2011.

Will and Tom made the garden in 2001. Now 12 years later, this is what my garden looks like today, one month into our spring/summer.

As I reflected on the garden and my life, I had these thoughts. First, like most people the situations of our lives are not ideal although I cannot complain. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places. (Psalms 16: 6) How many people in the world can work on their back deck, listening to the wind in the pine tree, the soft melodies of wind chimes. I remember that I have a healthy mind and body, 3 adult children married to three wonderful adults who know Jesus, 3 grandchildren and another on the way, adult children gainfully employed, no financial concerns, a long term marriage, time to study the Bible and mentor others. That is just the short list!

We all have life situations whether it be a job, a life station (caring for an elderly parent, caring for a sick child or young children), a difficult marriage, the pain of watching our children suffer whether through their choices or as my mother would say "the vicissitudes of life," ill health or natural disaster. If you haven't noticed, there is a lot of pain out there.

But what do we do with the situation we find ourselves? The soil is acidic. The situation is not ideal. The circumstances might even be really bad. There is ugliness and death all around. I long to make something beautiful of my life and to see beauty and fruit in transformation.

I could have given up on that garden. I could have stopped planting. I could have given up my vision of a lovely garden to enjoy for 4 months a year. I did not . I kept trying. I persevered and I made something beautiful.

It is the same with our life situations. We could give up on the job or the marriage. We could stop caring for our hurting friends and family. We could stop trying to reconcile that troubled relationship. Instead, we try something new. We go at the situation with a different tactic, a new plant. Then we discover, "Wow, the petunias work. We can make something beautiful here."

These ideas tie into my blog theme of extroversion and spiritual formation as well. If I just planted any flowers without considering how God made the tree and soil, there would be no garden. We need to know who we are and what brings life to the soil of our lives

I keep trying new ways to see real spiritual transformation in my life although as you can imagine, I've had some pretty discouraging moments.  I intend to just keep pressing on.

Is there such a thing as an ambivert?

I thought this was a very interesting link.
http://brillianceinc.com/are-you-an-ambivert/

I took the test and I came out ambivert (not a word in Google spell check, BTW)  but I wonder if everyone who takes the test comes out this way?  um
I am skeptical of all sociological (well, okay even quantitative research since about 3 years ago.)

You're an ambivert. That means you're neither strongly introverted nor strongly extraverted. Recent research by Adam Grant of the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Management has found that ambiverts make the best salespeople. Ambiverts tend to be adept at the quality of attunement. They know when to push and when to hold back, when to speak up and when to shut up. So don't fall for the myth of the extraverted sales star. Just keep being your ambiverted self.

For more on attunement and ambiversion, see Chapter 4 of To Sell is Human.

Here is the link to the test: http://www.danpink.com/assessment

Here is one more link from a guy who just calls himself an introverted extrovert.  What about an extroverted introvert?  Or like the above people, just make up a new name.

(Trivial comment:  Is Googled a verb in the dictionary yet?  Don't you think it should be?)

http://gillmeister90.wordpress.com/2013/04/08/the-introverted-extrovert-a-true-story/