The power of words

I am kind of tied up these days and not able to write, but read this short blog on the power of words. Since I like words and extroverts like me use a lot of words, this is a good reminder and encouragement.

From Faith Gateway: Devotionals Daily
http://contentz.mkt4728.com/mson/2013/12/28/xASZyoogBU8d/index.html

The Power of Words by Craig Groeschel from Soul Detox You don’t have to have a big nose to have heard the childhood mantra, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Just because it’s spouted by first graders doesn’t mean it’s true. Perhaps the adult translation of this age-old adage is more like, “Sticks and stones can bruise your body for a few days, but words can scar your soul for life.” Like a neutron bomb which annihilates human life but leaves buildings intact,words can devastate. Your body may remain unharmed, but your heart suffers the deadly shrapnel of painful phrases. David, who knew a thing or two about having enemies in high places, wrote that evildoers “sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows” (Psalm 64:3). Whether you’re eighteen or eighty, you can probably recall the pain of someone’s harsh words scalding your soul. Maybe you still hear the message from years ago, playing an endless loop in your mind, echoing inside you every day. “You’ll never amount to anything.” “I wish I never had you.” “You’re nothing like your brother.” “I’m sick of you.” “I never loved you.” “You’ll never change.” As devastating as these words can be, they can be offset by words of truth, hope, and love. The right words at the right time can be helpful, healing, and life-transforming. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” What you say can give life to you and to other people, or it can take life away. Words are powerful beyond imagination. Think about it. When God created the world, how did he do it? He spoke. God said, “Let there be...” and there was. Words have power. In so many fairy tales, legends, and myths, it’s the power of a spoken spell, incantation, or magic phrase that can either cause destruction or restore harmony. The potency of godly words can revive, heal, and change our lives. Ungodly words have the power to bind, imprison, and destroy. -  Creative words create. Destructive words destroy. -  Hurtful words crush. Helpful words build up. -  Toxic words poison. Soothing words heal. -  Faith-filled words bring life. Faithless words bring death. Several passages in the Bible clearly contrast the difference. The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. — Proverbs 12:18 What are reckless words? They’re the shards of glass you hurl in the heat of an argument. They’re the words you know you’ll regret as soon as they’ve left your tongue. They’re the bitter, painful, cancerous messages that leave people sick and hurting. Talking out of the other side of your mouth, the tongue of the wise brings encouragement, joy, and wisdom. Proverbs 15:4 expresses this duality another way: “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” Positive words plant seeds for beautiful trees. Deceptive words poison others like weed killer. If you are like most people, you can recall several of the many toxic phrases that have been directed at you. They could have been innocent: “Did you mean to do that to your hair?” “Why aren’t you married yet?” “I thought you would do much better than that.” Or perhaps the words were intended to pierce your heart like a poison dagger: “Why can’t you do anything right?” “I wish I’d never married you.” “You’re a real piece of work.” “You are the biggest disappointment to me.” My hope is that you can also remember life-giving words spoken to you at the precise moment you needed them. Maybe someone told you,“I believe in you,” and it was all you needed to move forward. It could’ve been someone saying, “I’m so proud of you,” and their affirmation touched your soul. Maybe a close friend shared, “I’m more thankful for you than you could ever know,” and in return, those words meant more to you than your friend would ever know. The words spoken by a loving spouse can often communicate, “I’d marry you all over again,” reminding you of their support. Another proverb compares such words to honey and to medicine: “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24). I’m thankful for the people in my life who fed me sweet words of affirmation and encouragement. My wife Amy’s words have often kept me going. When I’m down and feeling inadequate for the ministry before me, she reminds me who I am and what I have in Christ. When others criticize our style of ministry, she reminds me that God called us to do a different work. And sometimes, she simply calls me her Mega-man! I may be an average guy, but I like knowing that I’m her superhero. We obviously can’t control what others say about us, but we can control what we believe. Since toxic words can destroy our souls, we’ve got to passionately guard our hearts against them. Do whatever it takes to keep the poison out of your heart. Solomon told his son, “Listen closely to my words... Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:20, Proverbs 4:23, emphasis mine). With his life-giving words, a protective father warned his son to guard his heart as his life source. We must keep others from dumping their toxic waste into our water supply. Countless times a day, when it comes to what you hear and say, you have choices to make. When you hear the words of others, you can choose to receive them as truth or reject them as lies. And every time you open your mouth to utter a word, you have the opportunity to speak life or the temptation to take it. Think back through the past few days. When you spoke to others, what did they hear? Either you aimed sharp, poison-tipped darts at their hearts, or you injected them with life-giving, God-honoring booster shots. * * *

Introverts make it again to the Huffington Post

Just in case you as an introvert stumbled upon this blog or for the maybe one person that is an introvert and has read my blog, this is a good article but I do have a few things to say....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/20/introverts-signs-am-i-introverted_n_3721431.html

Here are the 23 signs in short version with 23 signs am-I-extroverted  (note how much more verbose the extroverted version is)

1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome.

Extrovert: Actually you don't really like small talk either. You just like to talk to people and prefer intelligent, deep conversation. But small talk is the way to start a conversation about less superficial matters.

2. You go to parties but not to meet people.

Extrovert:  You like meeting new people as people are fascinating, all are special and it's a privilege to be involved with people even at a party.  You like to reach out to people and you learn so much about yourself, the world and people from others.

3.  You often feel alone in a crowd.

Extrovert: This can actually happen to you also.

4. Networking makes you feel like a phony

Extrovert:  Networking is a way to help and connect people. You feel a great sense of accomplishment and even joy when you can network effectively.

5. You've been called too intense.

Extrovert:  You also have been called too intense so what does that mean???

6.  You're easily distracted.

Extrovert:  Are you kidding me?  You are WAY MORE easily distracted than an introvert.

7. Down time does not feel unproductive to you.

Extrovert:  You like down time too.  Introverts do not have the corner on downtime. Naps are GREAT as are quiet mornings with the Lord.

8.  Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.

Extrovert:  You might also find speaking in front of 500 people stressful but you do enjoy connecting with individuals afterwards.

9.  When you get on the subway, you sit at the end of the bench -– not in the middle.

Extrovert:  You also like to sit at the end near the window so you can look out at the people or think about where you are going and get excited about that.  On planes, you don't necessarily like to talk to the person in the seat next to you.  Sometimes those people talk too much and then you realize they are actually introverts.  (Yeah, it's weird but it happens often.) You kind of like it up there in the clouds, closer to the heavens... 

10. You start to shut down after you've been active too long.

Extrovert:  You start to brighten up and smile when you are active and with people. Smiling makes people feel comfortable around you.

11.  You are in a relationship with an extrovert.

Extrovert: You are in a relationship with an introvert and sometimes would like to hit him/her over the head when he/she withdraws.  But then you decide to go to the coffee shop and have a pumpkin spiced latte (in autumn) or gingerbread latte (NOW) and meet a friend.  Or you might call someone on the phone, answer email, have a Google Hangout. 

12. You'd rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything.

Extrovert: You might want to focus in life (introverts do not have the corner on being an expert in one things,) but there are always new and exciting things happening in the world so why not enjoy those also?

13. You actively avoid any shows that might involve audience participation.

Extrovert: You may not like audience participation either and are beginning to resent the obvious jabs at your personality type from this article. But you are a magnanimous person and decide to assume the best. (What is "the best" here?) And you note that although introverts don't like audience participation why are so many introverts constantly posting about their lives on social media???

14.  You screen all your calls-- even from friends.

Extrovert:  You are rather excited when the phone rings and disappointed if it's a telemarketer. However, you have been known to talk to the telemarketer if you are in the mood.  You screen calls as well.

15.  You notice details that others don't

Extrovert:  Not just for introverts.....nope.  You notice details too.  You notice when someone feels awkward at a party and you go up to them to make them feel comfortable. You are good at that.

16.  You have a constantly running inner monologue.

Extrovert:  You have a constantly running inner monologue also.  You don't talk all the time and you have been hurt and offended by those who make jokes about you in front of others about your verbal processing. 

17.  You have low blood pressure.

Extrovert: There it is again, the bias against extroverts..... now we are talking blood pressure?  What next?  You don't necessarily have high blood pressure. 

18.  You have been called an "old soul" ---since your 20s.

Extrovert: People think you are younger than you are because of your enthusiasm for life and people. 

19. You don' feel "high" from your surroundings.

Extrovert:  You feel high and upbeat from your surroundings.  So what?  Is that like a PROBLEM???

20. You look at the big picture.

Extrovert:  That is NOT an introverted trait alone and I am getting tired that the introverts are claiming traits like this.

21.  You have been told to come out of your "shell."

Extrovert:  You have been told many unkind and insensitive about the way you are. So whatever... Being told to come out of your "shell" is mild compared to the things you've been told.

22. You're a writer.

Extrovert:  Oh stop. I mean, really. Extroverts are writers too.  You journal all the time especially in your devotional and travel diaries and you know many, MANY introverts that never write...except maybe too much information on Facebook.

23. You alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social activity.

Extrovert: You alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social activity.  Yes, I wrote the same thing!  Extroverts behave the same way. 

Learning in Community

I play the violin, not well, but I play.  I truly regret not practicing more as a child.  I wish my parents had been harder on me in that regard.  I struggled with private lessons because I did not like playing and practicing alone.  I had started on the piano but  the violin was a good instrument for me because I could play in community.  When I played with others, I improved not just a little but a lot.

Hindsight on learning the violin for my personality type:
1.  Well, first of all, I should have had a smaller instrument when I started. I think this would have helped a great deal.  It was sort of like trying to feed a hamburger to a baby. 

2. I should have been in group lessons from the start.  I just learn more effectively, more "fruitfully" when I am learning with others.  (I realize that I was too young to understand this.  I don't blame my parents either.  At the time I was growing up, parents in my culture did not think about these things.)

Doing my spiritual analogy thing-- we can try to jump into learning and growing in Christ at a level that does not fit where we are in life. As we help others grow, we need to help them understand themselves and be open to helping them learn and grow in ways suited best for them. If they need a small violin, help them get one! If they are struggling growing in Christ on their own, help them yourself (small community) or get them in a group.


Now for a word from internet expertise:

 Shared activity provides a meaningful social context for learning…Social interaction provides support in a physical sense as well as a motivational sense…Through talking and communicating, the gaps and flaws in one’s thinking become explicit and accessible to correction…thought becomes sequential and visible to the thinker. (Bodrova and Leong, 1996, p. 110)  http://web.utk.edu/~rmcneele/classroom/theories.html

Amen! I like the reference to motivation.  Groups motivate me.  Others help me see more clearly where I am flawed in my thinking and actions.

I memorized these Bible verses almost 40 years ago never quite understanding how significant they are is to who I am.

Hebrews 10: 24, 25 (my version for memory)
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

In another translation: The Voice

 Let us consider how to inspire each other to greater love and to righteous deeds, not forgetting to gather as a community, as some have forgotten, but encouraging each other, especially as the day of His return approaches.

In this chapter (10) of Hebrews, the author is finishing up the comparison of the Old Testament way of worshiping God (sacrificial system) and Jesus's single sacrifice, once for all, for sin.  Because of Christ's birth, life, death and resurrection, unique in all history because He was God, we can have a joyous confidence in our spirit, a hope that cannot always be put in words (though some of us who like words try).

This inner spark, that comes only through trusting in Christ, is the foundation for why I want to learn more about God, grow more to be like Christ and spur others on to growth in Christ as well.

That "spark" is fanned when there are others around me motivating me, correcting me, laughing with me, accomplishing with me. 

The music for this year's Christmas concert at church is tough, especially the rhythms.  I could not get those until I played with the other strings.  I initiated two practices "with others" and I'll do it again.  I not only appreciate but I enjoy practicing and learning with others. (Not to mention fun.)  It's true for me in my walk with Christ as well as my playing the violin.