Find out what makes you thrive

May 31

During a time of prayer with my friend Becky Sims, I had an interesting thought related to my garden under the pine tree.

Before we prayed, Becky had taken me around her house, showing me the new landscaping.  I noticed two pine trees on the south side of the house.  Becky said, “The landscaper suggested we put rocks under the tree as, you know, nothing grows under a pine tree.”

These words came back to me as we prayed.  True, well, almost true.

In ignorance both on my part and Tom’s, we had a vision of a lovely garden under the big pine tree in our back yard.  After bricking out the garden, we dumped a truckload of dirt and I planted.  To my surprise and discouragement, nothing grew.  Unbeknownst to me, few plants thrive under a pine tree due to the acidic soil.  The pine tree garden also was just out of reach of any of the sprinklers.  I had requested sprinkler heads in the garden and eventually this request was granted.

However those first years, I watched plant after plant die a miserable death.

In the process of losing the plants, in more of a trial and error method, some plants survived and returned.  I noticed that the “dusty” plants thrived, especially the yarrow and lamb’s ear. In fact the lamb’s ear eventually had to be thinned extensively.  Another year the candlestick plants returned and thrived. The garden needed some color.  I tried impatiens and they died not just because of the acidic soil or lack of water but the garden received the hot afternoon sun as well.  Then I hit the jackpot- petunias.  The petunias thrived and added such color! Along with my trial and error planting method, Tom installed two sprinkler heads in 2011.

Will and Tom made the garden in 2001. Now 12 years later, this is what my garden looks like today, one month into our spring/summer.

As I reflected on the garden and my life, I had these thoughts. First, like most people the situations of our lives are not ideal although I cannot complain. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places. (Psalms 16: 6) How many people in the world can work on their back deck, listening to the wind in the pine tree, the soft melodies of wind chimes. I remember that I have a healthy mind and body, 3 adult children married to three wonderful adults who know Jesus, 3 grandchildren and another on the way, adult children gainfully employed, no financial concerns, a long term marriage, time to study the Bible and mentor others. That is just the short list!

We all have life situations whether it be a job, a life station (caring for an elderly parent, caring for a sick child or young children), a difficult marriage, the pain of watching our children suffer whether through their choices or as my mother would say "the vicissitudes of life," ill health or natural disaster. If you haven't noticed, there is a lot of pain out there.

But what do we do with the situation we find ourselves? The soil is acidic. The situation is not ideal. The circumstances might even be really bad. There is ugliness and death all around. I long to make something beautiful of my life and to see beauty and fruit in transformation.

I could have given up on that garden. I could have stopped planting. I could have given up my vision of a lovely garden to enjoy for 4 months a year. I did not . I kept trying. I persevered and I made something beautiful.

It is the same with our life situations. We could give up on the job or the marriage. We could stop caring for our hurting friends and family. We could stop trying to reconcile that troubled relationship. Instead, we try something new. We go at the situation with a different tactic, a new plant. Then we discover, "Wow, the petunias work. We can make something beautiful here."

These ideas tie into my blog theme of extroversion and spiritual formation as well. If I just planted any flowers without considering how God made the tree and soil, there would be no garden. We need to know who we are and what brings life to the soil of our lives

I keep trying new ways to see real spiritual transformation in my life although as you can imagine, I've had some pretty discouraging moments.  I intend to just keep pressing on.

Is there such a thing as an ambivert?

I thought this was a very interesting link.
http://brillianceinc.com/are-you-an-ambivert/

I took the test and I came out ambivert (not a word in Google spell check, BTW)  but I wonder if everyone who takes the test comes out this way?  um
I am skeptical of all sociological (well, okay even quantitative research since about 3 years ago.)

You're an ambivert. That means you're neither strongly introverted nor strongly extraverted. Recent research by Adam Grant of the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Management has found that ambiverts make the best salespeople. Ambiverts tend to be adept at the quality of attunement. They know when to push and when to hold back, when to speak up and when to shut up. So don't fall for the myth of the extraverted sales star. Just keep being your ambiverted self.

For more on attunement and ambiversion, see Chapter 4 of To Sell is Human.

Here is the link to the test: http://www.danpink.com/assessment

Here is one more link from a guy who just calls himself an introverted extrovert.  What about an extroverted introvert?  Or like the above people, just make up a new name.

(Trivial comment:  Is Googled a verb in the dictionary yet?  Don't you think it should be?)

http://gillmeister90.wordpress.com/2013/04/08/the-introverted-extrovert-a-true-story/

What is all that stuff in the dirt in my garden?

First of all, you must know that the soil in Colorado is not just bad but AWFUL for gardening.  Okay, you can grow those dusty- looking plants and people are very keen on the xeriscape gardening.  I love living here but the dirt no matter how much I treat it with manure, peat, guarantee-to-break-the clay stuff, the hard, ugly, grayish brown soil returns as if by magic.

Granted, my mistake, I wanted a pretty flower garden directly facing our deck so I could enjoy it. And the previous owners planted a pine tree right at that spot. Pine needles fall constantly and make the soil particularly acidic. Only certain plants grow in acidic soil. How was I to know this, novice that I was/am in gardening?

Will, our son, earned a Boy Scout Merit Badge for Family Life by bricking in a plot around the tree for my pretty flower garden.  He and a buddy filled many wheel barrows with the dirt that had been dumped in our driveway.  The dirt was not the highest quality but I don't think that would have mattered one bit. The Colorado Dirt Fairies would have changed the dirt by the next year.

I lost a lot of plants those first years, not understanding about the pine tree needles, the sun, and the dirt. Finally, I realized that it was better to give in and plant as many dusty-looking perennials as possible and give up on the garden of my dreams. I discovered that the one annual that could survive the bad soil and pine needles was the petunia. Petunias light up any garden with their color and they are remarkably resilient in heat.

This year however something strange happened. I don't remember this from past years.  When I began digging in the dirt, that I had enhanced to a certain extent, I kept finding little roots, like course hairs, knotted in the dirt. They were everywhere under the surface and not visible at all from the top soil, not that the top soil was anything to look at.

Frustrated, I dug, pulled, dredged up as many of these roots as I could,  then added fresh soil around my new little petunia plants. I found myself getting angry not to mention perplexed.

As often happens, 4-5 A.M. is God's time to clue me in on a few things. Sometimes I am wide awake, even at my desk and thoughts come. Sometimes I am half-asleep and still in bed but this seems to be the time God gives me insight.

"Those little roots?  Think about it, Lisa....all those dangles and knots, adding to the unhealthy nature of the soil...remind you of anything?"

Yes, it did. A person like me can appear one way on the surface, sometimes hiding what is inside, and not even aware of it. Just dig a little, and it's a mess down there. So many roots from who-knows-what has happened in my life.

I know, I know...try counseling or healing prayer or listening prayer or something and clean out the roots, untangle them.

I don't think it is possible to get rid of all the tiny root.. There are too many and they are attached to the dirt and well, they are just there. The fact is a person's history is his or her history. It's still there, stored in the brain, heart, emotions even his or her body.

So what is a person to do?

No, I don't have a step by step solution.

My response to God that morning: "Well, this is the human condition, isn't it, God?  It's just not that pretty and it's very complicated."

My thought was that there is no real solution until I meet the Lord and have a resurrected body, mind, emotions, the entire package. Until then, I intend to be honest about all that is under the surface and continue to persevere, planting something good in the soil. Another garden analogy coming!

To make my little garden appealing, beautiful, and pleasant to the eye,  I plant the colorful annual flowers and fertilize almost daily to bring that new life. Because of the reality of the "garden of my life," with it's tangled roots, and natural sinful, fleshly, whatever you want to call the human condition, my heart and mind need constant care and enrichment in the form of fertilizer of God's Word, the community of His people, and mainly the reality of His Spirit.

 so you see there is hope for me!  This is my garden last year after lots of TLC.

Can an extrovert really practice solitude and silence?

One of my extroverted friends who I consider a very deep, spiritual, Jesus-lover person asked me what I thought about solitude and the extrovert. I've been pondering this for days. Yes, extroverts do ponder. A well-respected author and speaker said at a seminar I attended, "A person cannot hear from God unless they  are in silence and solitude." I don't think this person meant to sound so extreme. I mean, God can speak to anyone anytime. Paul, walking to Damascus in a group, saw a vision and heard Christ. So it can happen!

For me personally, I have experienced some pretty clear, "Lisa, I have something to say moments" when I've been around other people. God also uses people to "speak" to me. I've been in a noisy room and definitely gotten a message from on High.

In my doctoral research project, the week we discussed silence and solitude was framed in a the theme, "The Tongue." I thought that was funny!  I had has my learning objectives for that session:

• The participants will see the indispensable value of taking time for silence.
• The participants will consider evaluating their words and controlling their words at certain times while this does not devalue their need to process verbally and be energized through being with people.
• The participants will see how silence can be practiced for shorter lengths of time or even  with with others, and God can use this silent time in a formative way in the person's life.

If you'd like more on that session, just shoot me an email.

The approach I took was not just to focus on the image of going off alone to a cabin in the mountains, sitting on a rock and thinking or praying but rather controlling one's tongue. It seems to me there are more biblical passage about controlling our words rather than being alone in a still, silent place. One of my issues with the whole idea is that it is perfectly plausible to go to retreats, walk alone in the forest by a stream, have space in your home to for solitude and silence if you are a middle-to-upper class Western world dweller. Most humans on the planet don't have that luxury.  I tried to think of solitude and silence not just in the particularly American Christian world but for the rest of the Christ-followers on earth. How does one practice silence and solitude in those places?

I am blessed. I live in a spacious house (and now the kids are off and married and my husband is an introvert), on a quiet neighborhood, a low-populated state minutes from the Rocky Mountains. I also have the financial means to say to my husband,"Okay, I'm 'outta here."  I don't take this for granted. At the same time, I can only take a few hours of that silence and solitude.  I get all these thoughts from the Lord, get excited about what the Word and have this desire to TELL SOMEONE or at least journal it. That was the key for me.....have a shorter time and share about it with someone else.  The loop would then be complete.

When I review my life, I have spent a lot of time in solitude and silence. While my kids were still around, I rolled out of bed at 5 or 5:30am and headed to what my husband affectionately called, "the cave" in the basement. I remember great times with the Lord. And especially Alex, our youngest son, remembers my enthusiasm and chattiness about what I'd learned as he ate his oatmeal. (FYI-I often made a smiley face in his oatmeal with raisins, blueberries or strawberries.) Another question to ponder, "Are all extroverts morning people?" Probably not.

There is something attractive even to a people-person like me when I read from Jesus Calling, "Meet me in morning stillness, while he earth is fresh with dew of My presence. Worship Me in the beauty of holiness. Sing love songs to My holy Name. As you give yourself to Me, My Spirit swells within you till you are flooded with divine Presence."