Granted, my mistake, I wanted a pretty flower garden directly facing our deck so I could enjoy it. And the previous owners planted a pine tree right at that spot. Pine needles fall constantly and make the soil particularly acidic. Only certain plants grow in acidic soil. How was I to know this, novice that I was/am in gardening?
Will, our son, earned a Boy Scout Merit Badge for Family Life by bricking in a plot around the tree for my pretty flower garden. He and a buddy filled many wheel barrows with the dirt that had been dumped in our driveway. The dirt was not the highest quality but I don't think that would have mattered one bit. The Colorado Dirt Fairies would have changed the dirt by the next year.
I lost a lot of plants those first years, not understanding about the pine tree needles, the sun, and the dirt. Finally, I realized that it was better to give in and plant as many dusty-looking perennials as possible and give up on the garden of my dreams. I discovered that the one annual that could survive the bad soil and pine needles was the petunia. Petunias light up any garden with their color and they are remarkably resilient in heat.
This year however something strange happened. I don't remember this from past years. When I began digging in the dirt, that I had enhanced to a certain extent, I kept finding little roots, like course hairs, knotted in the dirt. They were everywhere under the surface and not visible at all from the top soil, not that the top soil was anything to look at.
Frustrated, I dug, pulled, dredged up as many of these roots as I could, then added fresh soil around my new little petunia plants. I found myself getting angry not to mention perplexed.
As often happens, 4-5 A.M. is God's time to clue me in on a few things. Sometimes I am wide awake, even at my desk and thoughts come. Sometimes I am half-asleep and still in bed but this seems to be the time God gives me insight.
"Those little roots? Think about it, Lisa....all those dangles and knots, adding to the unhealthy nature of the soil...remind you of anything?"
Yes, it did. A person like me can appear one way on the surface, sometimes hiding what is inside, and not even aware of it. Just dig a little, and it's a mess down there. So many roots from who-knows-what has happened in my life.
I know, I know...try counseling or healing prayer or listening prayer or something and clean out the roots, untangle them.
I don't think it is possible to get rid of all the tiny root.. There are too many and they are attached to the dirt and well, they are just there. The fact is a person's history is his or her history. It's still there, stored in the brain, heart, emotions even his or her body.
So what is a person to do?
No, I don't have a step by step solution.
My response to God that morning: "Well, this is the human condition, isn't it, God? It's just not that pretty and it's very complicated."
My thought was that there is no real solution until I meet the Lord and have a resurrected body, mind, emotions, the entire package. Until then, I intend to be honest about all that is under the surface and continue to persevere, planting something good in the soil. Another garden analogy coming!
To make my little garden appealing, beautiful, and pleasant to the eye, I plant the colorful annual flowers and fertilize almost daily to bring that new life. Because of the reality of the "garden of my life," with it's tangled roots, and natural sinful, fleshly, whatever you want to call the human condition, my heart and mind need constant care and enrichment in the form of fertilizer of God's Word, the community of His people, and mainly the reality of His Spirit.
so you see there is hope for me! This is my garden last year after lots of TLC.
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