Lisa writing about mysticism????

In reading books on spiritual formation, I came across many that were labeled mysticism. I did not enjoy, understand or appreciate most of what I read. When I saw this book in downloadable form from the public library, I was intrigued. CS Lewis' writing has keenly influenced my faith. I finished the book in record time. There was so much to ponder that I find writing about the book difficult yet necessary.
I found that just as I have had to clarify my definition of spiritual formation to "Christian spiritual formation" I appreciated the author narrowing his discussion of mysticism to the "Christian realm."
Downing has a vast understanding of Lewis' work, and that itself gives him some credibility. He methodically and convincingly (I think) demonstrates strands of mysticism in Lewis' writings. I particularly enjoyed reminders of Lewis books I've not read in years.
I would never even slightly consider myself a Christian mystic (nor would anyone else who knows me) yet something in me resonates when I read these words of Lewis (quoted on p.46),"All the things that have ever deeply possessed your soul have been just hints of it-tantalizing glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear."
Then Downing clarifies ME in this discussion by quoting mysticism scholar W.T.Stace. Stace "distinguishes between 'introverted mysticism,' based on meditation or contemplation, and 'extroverted mysticism,' an ecstatic response to visible emblems found in nature." I am the latter!
I probably will not read much more by Christian mystics or about mysticism, but I am very glad I read this book.

Living with Tom, I hear a lot about personal development. His passion is to see people become all God created them to be. I've been reading a fascinating book, My Life with the World's Greatest Pianists by Franz Mohr with Edith Shaeffer.  Franz Mohr was the chief piano technician for Steinway and Sons for a quarter century.  He also is a follower of Christ.  He wrote that each Steinway (all are carefully hand made), has a different capacity and sound regardless of its size.

"For instance, I cannot make every instrument which comes under my hands, every Steinway piano, into a big orchestra piano. It is simply impossible. Some pianos are born with a smaller voice. They are lovely, beautiful instruments, but not big orchestra pianos on which you could play Rachmaninoff, Tchaikovsky, or Liszt piano concertos." (page 26)

This made me think about people. We are all unique (so amazing how God created humans in His image).  We can only be what He created us to be. Some will be "Steinways" for the  "grand concert hall."  Others will be just as special and valuable, made for different purposes. We just have to be who we are.

Psalm 139:13, 14

"For You formed me my inwards parts; You wove me together in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works and my soul knows it very well."

This is my thought for Valentine's Day 2013 !

Silence and the snow

From my own archives Nov 2, 2011)

(I have missed the snow this year.  Lord, bring us more...)

I am a “morning” person.  The seasons bring such diversity in “morning” whether it be the sunrise, sun bouncing off the flowers, windy mornings with leaves flying around or a morning like today. 

I always know when the snow has fallen over night at the moment I wake up. I tend to be wide awake the moment my eyes open. Right away, I notice the light. Now that it is autumn I wake up in the dark. But if there has been snow, I wake up to light and silence. The snow brightens the night and hides noise. This morning I woke up to such silence.  Snow had blanketed Denver.  I peeked outside and smiled with delight at the sight.  Then I enjoyed the silence.

Now most of you probably don’t think that silence and Lisa go together like a “horse and carriage” as the song says. Just yesterday I was telling a woman from the seminary that two of my strong values are relationships and community. But silence has a place in my life. Who wouldn’t appreciate silence in our noisy world?  I thought, “I wonder how many of the 7 billion now on our planet enjoy moments likes these, looking out at such beauty and not hearing a single sound?”  Maybe some people in Mongolia or Antarctica. (I think most of the 7 billion are in chaotic, urban areas.)

As I have told people, I often hear God most powerfully when I am in the presence of others or I hear Him through others. So I said to God this morning like Samuel in I Samuel 3: 10, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”  At moments like these, I am thankful that there are lot of Bible verses and concepts in my head and heart. 

“Wait”  Seemed to hear that word.

That is a good Biblical word.  Know that many people continue asking me, “What are you going to do now with your life? What are you waiting for?”  Most of the time this just brings kind of an angst feeling to my heart. In the silence and peace of this morning, maybe God is encouraging me to keep waiting. I had the thought, “It’s okay to wait the rest of my days on earth.”  Waiting on Him each day, each moment to follow His Spirit within me (Eph 1: 13, 14), His Word (Hebrews 4:12) and the life of His Son (all that I can learn about Him in the Gospels.) 

And that waiting brings strength to keep going.(Isaiah 40:31: Those who wait on the Lord will be renewed in strength. They will run and not be weary).  I guess God knew there would be people “who run” and He is there for us so we won’t get weary. I am one of those people (like another of his creation-the hummingbird) who moves quickly through life and He does not condemns me for who or how I am. I consider the silence and beauty a chance to wait and be renewed this morning.

The reality of anxiety

The other day a friend asked me how I have seen the Word of God transform my life over the last 35 plus years. Do you know what came to my mind besides nothing?  "How about that anxiety issue?"  I cringe thinking about this. I hear a friend say, "I don't worry. I just don't."  Or a guy that had taken me out for ice cream during a Christian summer training program, "You know, you get this look on your face and a crease on your forehead.  It's kind of intense.  You're going to get a wrinkle there."  (I was 23 at the time.)  He was prophetic. I have a "worry line" on my forehead.

So what could I say to this friend who was actually taping me for a video about Bible study and spiritual transformation?  I don't remember what I said. I recall what I did not say. I did not say, "The study of God's Word has transformed me from anxiety to peace."

I have tried everything.  Really I have. I have memorized, meditated, studied, and yelled Philippians 4: 6,7.  I have chanted Isaiah 26: 3. Yet my heart still pounds.

Speaking of pounds, here's an anxiety story. I went for my annual check up. I usually look away during scale time. And I did this time, but somehow I caught sight of my weight on the chart. Shock. The nurse took my blood pressure next and said, "Um, your blood pressure is rather high. Are you anxious about anything?" 

"No," I lied.

Thankfully I lost most of that weight by the next annual and the doctor was very proud of me and my lower cholesterol. 

God, was it really a sin to be anxious when my son had not returned home at the right time and I cannot get him on his cell phone?  Is it a sin when I stand up in front of a group and feel my face turn red and become short of breath?  Is it a sin that my pulse quickens when I think of moving? (Alert: my family moved once during my adolescent years.This apparently scarred me for life.)  Not blaming my father at all! But the move caused some dysfunction in the anxiety area

I bought a Groupon for a massage to treat myself while husband was out of town. Mistake. First of all, the masseur turned out to be a former or still hippie, quite "in touch with the spiritual world."  

 "You are really wound up.  There are some spirits who might be able to help you if you would like an inner wellness session for the low price....,"  she informed me.

 If I was not buck naked under the blanket at that moment, I would have high-tailed it out of there. 

So to answer my friend, well, spiritual transformation in this, maybe, I can call it my "besetting sin," has not happened. Maybe calling it my besetting sin makes it okay? 

I am not a serene, calm, composed, cool as a cucumber, tranquil, placid, stoic individual. When I am around most leaders in the spiritual formation world, I shrink in self consciousness.  They are composed, quiet, not agitated in the least.  No, I am not Adult Attention Deficient. I can sit for hours working at my desk, studying the Bible or reading. Yet I feel evaluated on a great spiritual formation scale just being in the room with these actually lovely people. It's not them. I know that. 

Back to the anxiety issue.  Here's a verse for anxiety. "I will never leave you nor forsake you" Hebrews 13: 5) Jesus is out there with me in the anxiety. Maybe He would not mind if I took an occasional Valium to calm down?  One thing for sure. Anxiety has kept me humble.  Anxiety has kept me clingy. 

Deuteronomy 13: 4 - You shall follow the Lord your God and fear Him; and you shall keep His commandments, listen to His voice, serve Him, and cling to Him.

Psalm 119: 31  I cling to Your testimonies; O Lord, do not put me to shame!

Romans 12: 9  Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. 

So here is to high anxiety and the hope of less of it in the future.